Chronicillness diaries…its all in the mind???

I know that your mental state plays a huge role in shaping your health. That does not mean that every health problem is purely functional. But It sure does have a effect.

For me, my ankylosing spondylitis has been diagnosed and I have been on treatment for the past 20 years.

It is a real pathology..I know…but….

My mental state is not too happy always.

Can I share with you the possible reasons?

So, Here it is……

  1. I miss my parents. We were a small family of 6. Mom, dad, my two elder sisters and me. The sixth was my pet pooch..Biki.
  2. I lost both my parents at an early age, and being the youngest, it affected me deeply.
  3. My illness has been around for like ever. So there is always this fear of a flare up, thus hindering me from leading a normal , happy life.
  4. I lost my pet Snowy, 2 years back. He always reminded  of my previous Biki, and now he is also not there. He was my baby.
  5. Then of course its age. No woman in this world would happily embrace her wrinkles, sagging skin and not so perfect figure. Ditto with me….
  6. Or maybe my depression is endogenous. Maybe its in the genes. I would not call it frank depression, but there definitely is a negativity around the whole day.
  7. Lack of a proper nights sleep has been a major deterrent to my being in a happy state. There was a time when I used to enjoy my afternoon siesta with leisure. Now I have the time but sleep eludes me.

So, starting today I need you people to help, me find reasons to be happy. I know there are loads of them, but somehow I am not able to focus on the haves.


4 thoughts on “Chronicillness diaries…its all in the mind???

  1. Depression sucks the colour out of flowers and rainbows. Depression creates black and white, very little grey.
    You are writing for yourself and for others. That your words hold power and resonance. A dash of light in a darkened world.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry you are going through a tough time Mira. Not sleeping doesn’t at all help and the mind wonders even more. I lost my mother when I was 10 yrs old and I’m the youngest of three and I miss her dearly and wish she was here. I try to find some happiness in each day. Some days I find it and some days I don’t. When I read your posts you have such a way with words and that brings me sense of peace if you will. You bring people happiness and hopefully that brings you happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

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